I bought hell, built the stairway to heaven and continued onward. Through the sale of my soul, through the relinquishing of my conscience, from the turn to evil and conquering of good, the realm of hell became my own. The kingdom came at a price, a debt that can never be repaid. I decided to build a staircase to heaven, proving more difficult than traversing the road to hell. I came to the pearly gates, but what I thought to be my refuge, proved to be just another experience. At this point I had the knowledge of hell, and the knowledge of heaven, and I sat there, in heaven, reflecting on if it truly was better than hell. I decided it didn’t matter if it was or not, that the experience of both had passed, and I didn’t want to turn back to discovered grounds. Thus I relinquished them both. I didn’t climb higher up, or fall further down, but I went forward. I took the knowledge of both as a responsibility, and I took the responsibility seriously. I decided to create a new world, the common ground of Earth surely had been laid to rest long ago, heaven was great, but it just wasn’t for me, hell was even greater, but I had seen it all. I didn’t want to be God, I wanted to be me, and I wanted to create. So I did. I settled creating a new world, neither under the headings of heaven, or hell, or Earth, but rather, something unnamed, unexplored, untreated – untaught, unguided, and done solely alone. This new world isn’t really a place, it’s really a relinquishment of prior places. I figure the only way I can continue on, is by not being tied down. I don’t want to be tied down by the common world, I don’t want to return to hell, or climb to heaven. I don’t want to describe where I’m at or where I’m going. I just want to overcome it all. I don’t want to be satisfied with constant dissatisfaction, I don’t want to be unhappy, but I definitely don’t want to be content. I can’t live by law, I can’t stand maxims, wisdom really is my only compass. Life continues on, at least for me, at least for now, and I don’t really want to walk along a path already paved. I just want to keep paving. It always sounded right, walking the middle path, finding balance between chaos and disorder, finding peace in times of suffering, learning, experiencing, broadening my mind. This sounds good, but it isn’t what’s actually happening. Mere experience is happening, and if I say I, I really just mean the organism within my conscious awareness, that which I think to be me when it goes unanalyzed. Because it’s easy to talk this way, and it’s already been looked in to, so I know that formally speaking it’s an illusion……but that doesn’t really matter. What does matter? Well things matter to me, and things don’t matter in the big scheme of things. The universe doesn’t care, but I surely care. I care about the content of my experience. I care about following my conscience, I care about being virtuous, not in a way prescribed or written down by anyone previously but in the way that is in alignment with my own value system. How do I know when I am not in alignment, or when I am? I know. Of course I know. My conscious experience is altered by my conscience judgment of how I spend my time, or what I say or think or do. These things produce an emotion, if it is in alignment with my value system, it will surely produce a positive emotion, if not, a negative one. I’m not saying this value system is built by a “free agent which is me”, don’t get me wrong, my values are accumulated from a lot of places. We’re talking biological, social, cultural, based on my experience, based on conscious contemplation, based on acquired wisdom. What I’m most proud of is this acquired wisdom, because it took me my whole life to develop it, and it’s still developing. I had to experience a lot, try a lot, test a lot, experience a lot, in order to learn a lot, become a lot, discover a lot. So this web of causality is obviously unique to me, and it is this wisdom which carries me along. Of course I’ve read a lot, seen a lot, studied a lot, but I’ve also wrote a lot, created a lot, and done a lot. So this gives me an intuition that tells me I’m on the right path, but I’ve also developed an aspect of my belief system which keeps me honest, that of fallibility. In other words, I believe many things passionately, with justification and evidence and reason, and they all follow the laws of logic and are non-contradictory, I know this because I have no dissonance and no conflicting beliefs, but yet, I think this comes from, most of all that is, the belief in the inherent fallibility of all my beliefs. I believe things, yet simultaneously hold the belief that I could be wrong. Wrong meaning a lot of things here. I could be off by a long shot, or merely hold an idea which is only partially true, or a step towards something greater. In this way I avoid dogmatism, I avoid maxims, I avoid finality in all truth statements. To me, nothing is final, nothing is the end all, and by falling back upon this openness and fallibility I leave open the possibility for growth and additional knowledge, I leave open a range of experiences, conceptualizations of reality, modes of being, which would otherwise be shut off to me. It is through this that I have passed through many different epochs of life, from earth to hell to heaven and onward. You see, I bought hell, I built the stairway to heaven, and I continued onward. Basically just my life in a metaphysical nutshell.