The persona is that which we present through the embodiment of an underlying archetypal pattern of Being when we want someone to like us, it is the state of Being which posits the expression of what we believe would be appealing in the other person’s eyes. We should be wary in this projection, or once we realize that our mode of being in relation to someone is characterized by the will to be appreciated, liked, respected, or lusted after. The mindfulness in recognizing the personas emergence is the first step towards an authentic resolution, or modification, which can be consciously directed. From this mode of being, that of the persona’s dominance, it is easy for us to embellish who we are, or spin things in an appealing manner, effectively applying a mask to our true nature in the revelation of who we are, the act of doing such, is the persona embodied. If we can be mindful of entering into this mode of being, we can acknowledge our intent from which it has an end of producing, and seek to modify it, in either of two directions. We can either embellish the mask, and continue towards deception, or we can seek to be as honest as possible. Our inclination towards either one of the poles, whether it be honesty or deception, is determined by a number of factors. The amount of pride and confidence we have in who we truly are, how appealing our true nature is, how virtuous, or full of vice, we may happen to be, and our learned habits. The natural biological inclination tends towards deception, I’d say, on the average, while there is an evolutionary benefit in honesty and trust, the choice depends on our temperament, acquired character trait, and circumstantial navigation. Whether or not our true nature is appealing or not, I argue, we should lean towards the side of honesty in any moment on which the persona is noticed as dominating the psyche, for multiple reasons.

One reason why honesty is optimal as a corrective course to the personas emergence is that, if we do otherwise, if we continue down the path of being deceptive and putting on the mask of the persona, we not only deceive the other, but run the risk of deceiving ourselves by doing so, we contain the possibility of believing the deception, thus leading to a heightened sense of ego, and altogether, creating further dissonance between who we are and who we think we are. In addition, if we are honest in the presentation of our Being, especially in situations where we desire to be admired, the result can be beneficial to us, on an individual level, regardless of the other person’s respect or admiration, as either result can tell us something about ourselves and the other person. This honesty or authenticity in modifying the persona, doesn’t necessarily call for a radical truth telling, or admission of more than would be optimal for the solution. It merely points to not allowing us to be dominated by the psyche’s desire to be attractive. While it isn’t inherently a negative thing to be admired, or to will to be attractive to someone, we should want to do this through an authentic representation of ourselves. Oftentimes an authentic representation of ourselves does mean the compassionate navigation of truth claims, that is, not bluntly stating things, but wisely omitting unnecessary or hurtful content with the intention of the best long term result for the other person. If we truly want the best for someone, we should act so as to manifest what we believe to be the best content to display in order to aide them. The truthful authentic representation of ourselves doesn’t always mean telling the truth, it means not pretending to be someone we’re not, not stating falsehoods, or falsely representing our beliefs. This can be optimally navigated not through radical honesty, but through temperance and restriction, through openness to expression of who we truly are.

Here we have four cases in the authentic representation of ourselves. If we present our Being honestly (to the degree that we can) and the person for whom we seek admiration responds positively, we succeed and everyone is happy and we learn that who we truly are is actually in alignment with the values of the other person. If we seek admiration from someone, it is out of desire or admiration we have for the other person, which implies that our success in gaining their admiration tells us the things we aim at are conducive the type of person we wish to attract. If an honest approach to correcting for the personas emergence works out in our favor, we learn that the person we authentically are is in alignment with what we value, as we judge the other person to be someone who contains, to a degree, traits which we value.

Stemming from the same framework above, if the other person is perceived as truly someone who we respect or contains virtues or traits which we value, and our persona becomes modified by a conscious intention of honesty and authentic representation of our Being, yet we are received negatively, or are rejected, it appears we have lost. But we have gained something through this knowledge, of which a critical, honest, self-examination will determine the nature of. Perhaps there truly is something wrong with us, to which, further inquiry could enlighten us, and we could improve. On the other hand, in the case our authentic self is not desired by other person, perhaps we misjudged their values, perhaps the things they value truly are not the things in which we do, in which case, we no longer will desire their admiration. In either case, individually, we can grow and navigate existence, except, we are doing it from a place of authenticity.  

If we recognize the persona and continue under its influence, free from conscious modification in the direction of authenticity, and we are well received by the person we seek admiration from, it appears we have won, but as far as I can see, this is a loss. The persona which is accepted, and valued, is not an authentic representation of ourselves, and therefore, we can take no pride in admiration from the other person. We merely have succeeded in deception, which, as time will show, we will pay for, as there is truly nothing which goes unaccounted for. As we struggle to maintain the persona, we may fall into self-aggrandizing, in delusions of grandeur, and believe ourselves to be someone we are not, leading to psychological confusion, and further distancing from psychological individualization. The fracturing of the psyche, and the domination of any given archetype, in this situation, the persona, will result in dissonance, suffering, and, on a practical note, given the relationship produced by such actions, it will inevitably fall apart as soon as the other person comes to their senses and takes a peek under the mask at our true nature. Dante denoted the innermost circle of Hell as consisting in those who partake in deception, and that is exactly what our experience will contain of once we walk down the path of self-deception. On the other hand, the person we have successfully fooled, will suffer the pain of wasting time, of losing trust in another human, in effectively being deceived. The truth always comes out, and the suffering it will cause the deceived is no arbitrary thing, it won’t be good, that’s for sure, and the resentment and bitterness that results from such experiences, will add insult to injury to the suffering we are already undergoing as a result of such pursuits. So we should really be wary lest we fall down this path!

In the last case, if we continue down the path of deception, in the personas will manifesting itself in an inauthentic representation of ourselves, and the other person rejects us, than we find ourselves in a situation where not only did we lack the confidence to be ourselves, but the person we thought the other would like still was not received, meaning, not only could we not authentically be someone who is attracted by the other person, but even when we pretend to be something we aren’t, we still couldn’t achieve positive evaluation from someone whose perspective we value. The suffering caused from lack of confidence, the pain of failing, even though vice, may provide the groundwork of negative reinforcement towards attempting authenticity, or another mode of Being. This may be the benefit in failure, in this case, that we learn that such a pursuit is not only successful, but that who we ought to be needs to change, our strategy didn’t work, and change is revealed as necessary, at least in how we present ourselves in the face of someone whose opinion we value. This leaves us in the position to assume that authenticity itself may be optimal, since this method surely didn’t work out for us.

We always can misjudge the character of someone, in which case we can determine by their rejection of values we contain or deem important. We also can learn if we are not the type of person who can be desired, in which case we should evaluate our flaws and set out to work. In either case, the perceived negative effect of rejection by tilting towards honesty in the projection of our persona, not only saves us from the perils of being admired as someone we are not, saves us from self-deception, but offers up the Being in which we should desire to be appreciated, admired, respected, or wanted, the Being of our authentic self, who we truly are.